Imagined Rough Drafts of Famous Poems: William Carlos Williams
"The Red Wheelbarrow First Draft" by Me
This is a series I’ve invented where I come up with the crappy first drafts of popular poems by beloved poets. For reference, here is the original poem. And below is my imagined rough draft.
The universe rests in the garden wheelbarrow.
Every baby, fresh and blank as they scream into this world.
Every wrinkled hand that’s held by a loved one
as they make their final exit to
whatever lies beyond.
The tides, constant and throbbing.
The planets gliding their choreographed waltz
through a ballroom of stars.
Mankind’s thirst for supremacy at any cost and
the destruction left in its wake.
Each animal from wasp to whale, [←chickens? maybe mention chickens]
their ancestors and progeny,
forever echoing
as the universe continues rippling into eternity.
[Too wordy? Cut more ^]
They’re all inextricably linked to this wheelbarrow somehow,
I just know it.
[Will finish later- going inside. Just started to rain.]
I chuckle at the idea of WCW seeing revising his draft of ~400 words down to like 20.
Ha! Brilliant, and so clever! Love the bit about starting to rain. You did a nice job of not just entirely satirizing, but also riffing / expanding. Thank you!